Now with Thanksgiving a rounding success, it's time to focus on the next big challenge of the year: Christmas!
My in-laws accepted my mother very well and it was a relief to be back in an environment where I didn't have to be tense or ready to think of solutions.
The banana bread was devoured at work and I baked a second one to take to my in-law's with a side twist.
Along with my banana bread, I decided to make a roll cake! I baked a thin vanilla cake, made a cream cheese frosting-filling, and rolled all that together with some strawberries and blueberries. It was my first time making this weird log o' yums, but it was well-received and I was quite proud of it too.
I've been thinking about what I want to leave behind when I do pass on... I hope to leave a few recipes, a legacy almost. I just haven't been very inspired as of late. My creativity has been shot for a while now. I feel like it's been buried and one day, I felt it try to break out but didn't know how to express it. So I let it sink down again.
I don't know if I'll be able to draw, write my novels, sing with feeling again. I can barely get out of bed nowadays on my days off. Obviously I'm depressed, I know this. I hope to not let it affect my eating however. I may not be hungry most days but I still force food down at reasonable times and I try to make the healthiest decisions. I'm pushing through but sometimes it feels like I'm just going through the motions. Especially with the consumerism of the season.
I hope to accept the future as it is and focus on just enjoying the route there. I hope to focus on the now and just accept the later.
I think challenging myself helped since nothing is very engaging at work and I keep being lied to by the higher-ups.
SO... for the Christmas season, I want to try my unpracticed hands at a Beef Bourgeoisie. Even back in culinary school, I did not make this dish properly (oversight on their part) and I think it's an injustice done to my wallet.
I'll let you know if it's a success or a mess!
Till next time!
